its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
