Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
