I think i peed on brittanys purse
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize