You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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