my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
