I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My liver just had a heart attack.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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