on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize