I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
