Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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