so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize