Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
