brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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