hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
