I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize