My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
