We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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