so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
