Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
