I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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