she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
