mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
