So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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