this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize