I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
