Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The beer is more important than you right now.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
