Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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