I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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