I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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