hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
