Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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