Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Randomize
