my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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