Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
