I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Michael Bay diarrhea
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
