He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
