This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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