I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
