I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize