ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
