im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
