I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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