I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
