my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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