What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
