Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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