I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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