I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize