I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
