I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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