Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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