...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
