1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
