wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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