why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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