but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
porn star boner night. come get it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
