No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
