so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
