lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize