we're blogging at a bar
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
COCAINE IS GR8
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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