LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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