Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
