McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
