garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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