IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
