he was CRYING into my vagina
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
