Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
