Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
