I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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