And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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