How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
