im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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