So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
