You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
