He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize