Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
