It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
