He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
